I read Joel Achenbach’s Rough Draft this week, “Giving America the Digital Salute” , and wondered if Joel had taken that thought process far enough.

I’ve been thinking, wouldn’t it be easier if we could just have chip sets planted directly into our heads? Project the display directly onto our retinas from fiber optics implanted into our eye sockets, take input from our nervous systems as control commands (if you think it’s funny now as people seem to have conversations with themselves, wait till you see people look like they’re doing interpretive/break dancing as they’re Boodling while waiting in line at Starbuck’s. Wait, maybe input from tongues or toes would be better. That way it just looks more like a nervous tic or trying to get spinach out of your teeth.).

Watch all 1000+ channels of TV, browse the Internet, shop online, flame some stupid blogger, check your email and IM, and write the Great American novel, all in the privacy of your own digital head. Well, except that you’re connected to a great big wireless network. People will only use names or blogger handles with their imaginary friends and family anymore, we’ll all go by our formal governmentally assigned IP addresses.

Cool kids will have a retro look (and better wireless reception) by having classic TV ‘rabbit ears’ sticking out of their heads like “My Favorite Martian”, and the geeks will have wads of tin foil wrapped on the ends of their antennae to bring in the signal that much better.

Would the Government strongly recommend/mandate the implants at birth, the way they do with filing for Social Security numbers now? If they combined those advances with mandated applications for credit cards at birth, and you have a Brave New World for the 21st century America.

Well, you’ll need all that and a couch.

bc