The Washington Post reported on an undercover operation run by the General Accounting Office (GAO) to test Nuclear Regulatory Commission (NRC) safeguards against illegal purchase of radioactive materials, ostensibly to create a “dirty” bomb designed to disperse the radioactive materials over a wide area, causing panic and the threat of sickess and cancer.
That story received a lot of attention this week, but there was no mention of a sting operation on the Federal Administration of Drugs (FAD) for Federal Agents to try to procure the materials for a Naughty Bomb.
A man and a woman, posing as pharmaceutical distributors, approached the FAD with falsifed paperwork for approval to sell prescription drugs, with the intent buying 1,000,000 Viagra tablets wholesale, ostensibly for retail sale. However, the Federal Agents were following a script that called for them to have a secret agenda where the pretended that they would extract the active ingredient, sildenafil citrate, and use it with a Vasiodialation Delivery - Device (VD-D), or as some call it, a “Naughty Bomb.” The paperwork was for the couple to become Completely Legal and Above Board Internet prescription drug distributors per FAD Guidelines - specifically FAD 21 CFRs 203 and 205 - in order to purchase the million Viagra tablets. According to the Secret Agenda, the tablets would each be popped from their packaging, ground down with a mortar and pestle, the individual sildenafil citrate grains removed by tweezers from the tablet substrate, the grains added to a special rubberized latex polymer, which would then be used to cover the VD-D before use and detonation.
A Naughty Bomb has never actually been set off within a city, but experts at the Department of Homesoil Security say that were one of the size and capacity of 1 MegaTab VD-D were to be discharged within a typical city, residents of at least a dozen square blocks would likely be affected. Within the effective radius of the Naughty Bomb, businesses would be closed for at least a week, and residents would call in sick to work, order delivery foods of all kinds, not go shopping, and stop blogging, gaming, emailing, text messaging, using the phone, the Internet, and not watch television; a complete breakdown of civilization as we know it [which may include smiling a lot]. Effects would be difficult to gauge until 9 months later in many cases, with some lasting lifetimes. Weapons of Mass Distraction like the VD-D must never be allowed to penetrate American cities, according to spokesperson Max Smartassky of the Department of Homesoil Security.
While the paperwork was completed and signed off by the FAD, only one package of 4 tablets was actually purchased during the operation. The Federal Agents claimed that they were not capable of handling one million tablets of Viagra and 4 tablets were plenty for a weekend, thank you very much.
Congress may hold hearings on the Federal Agents’ report after the summer recess, “When everybody cools down,” according to Rep. Randy Richard, who added that the FAD is expected to press hard to bring the situation to a mutually satisfactory conclusion at the soonest opportunity.
Next: Getting commercial licenses to catch fish for harvesting mercury.
bc
